Forget the rule of six ruining your social life. It seems five is more than enough for a good time.
That's because new research has found we only need five friends in our friendship group in order to be happy. But, before you start deleting people off Facebook, or scrubbing childhood acquaintances out of your address book, there are a few more rules to follow. As, just like the Spice Girls, a group of friends should be made up of a mix of personalities. It seems opposites really do attract. And that's not all. For better friends, you need to argue – at least twice a year!
The study, involving 2,000 Brits, by Interflora and expertKate Leaver, author of The Friendship Cure, found that a mix of personality traits is key.That means friendship groupsshould be comprised of five different personalities to really make it work. This includes ‘the sensible one’, ‘the organiser’, ‘the joker’, ‘the party animal’ and ‘the dramatic one’. And, even if you manage to form your girlband, the survey found you should be part of TWO different groups, for real happiness.
“Evolutionary psychologists believe that our brains can handle 150 friendships," says Kate. "But they would agree that it’s your closest five who really matter. Other studies have suggested that people who have three to five friends are the happiest and most satisfied with their lives. That old adage is true – we’re lucky if we can count our closest mates on one hand. I think it’s really important to remember that."Here's everything you need to know:
The recipe for having long-lasting friends
The study concluded that following this formula could result in friendships lasting over 23 years:
- Having two main friendship groups
- Living apart from each other
- Five different personalities: the sensible one, the organiser, the joker, the dramatic one, and the party animal
- Catching-up individually with each member via text/WhatsApp – x 73 days a year
- Showing vulnerability – x 100 times a year
- Talking through problems / offering advice – x 50 times a year
- Having a face-to-face catch-up as a whole group – x 6 times a year
- Argue - at least twice a year
- Taking an annual holiday/trip as a group – once a year
- Celebrating friendship anniversary/milestone – once a year
Traits we really value in our friendships
So, what do Brits look for in the ultimate friend? The top trait 70% of us said was most important was honesty. This was followed by 61% wanting to know a friend will always be there for them. Despite this, a third of people will never share how much a best friend means to them, and 39% would never buy a best friend a gift when it’s not their birthday.
And do Facebook friends count as real friends? Interflora’s research also shows that on average we have 201 Facebook friends, but 55% of us never see most of them, and 68% don’t consider many Facebook friends to be actual friends.
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“It's OK to have just a handful of really close friends," says Kate. "We tend to interact with so many people online that we forget what counts as real friendship. We don’t have the time or energy or love or brain capacity to maintain hundreds or thousands of close friendships. It’s vastly more important to nurture and protect and celebrate a few very special friendships."
FAQs
There's no “right” number of friends you should have, but research says most people have between 3 and 5 close friends. Friendship is necessary, but it can feel challenging to find people who really “get” you. What's more, what you need from your friends might change as your life circ*mstances change.
Is 5 a big friend group? ›
Forget the rule of six ruining your social life. It seems five is more than enough for a good time. That's because new research has found we only need five friends in our friendship group in order to be happy.
What is the best number for a friend group? ›
The scientist's social brain hypothesis argues that there is a precise ceiling to the number of stable relationships people can comfortably maintain. Known as “Dunbar's Number,” 150 is the tippy top limit—five being close loved ones, 15 being good friends, 50 being friends and so on.
What is a group of five friends called? ›
If you can usually be found hanging out with your four best friends, people might call the five of you a quintet. The original meaning was "musical composition for five voices," from the Latin quintus, "the fifth."and quinque, "five." Definitions of quintet.
What is the 5 friends theory? ›
“According to the theory, the tightest circle has just five people – loved ones. That's followed by successive layers of 15 (good friends), 50 (friends), 150 (meaningful contacts), 500 (acquaintances) and 1500 (people you can recognise).
How to be friends with a 5? ›
Fives don't love small talk, but you can get a conversation going by asking them what they have learned recently or about a book they just read. They'll also feel appreciated if you ask for their opinion and insight. Respect a Five's need for privacy and solitude—even if you're a close friend.
What is a Level 5 friend? ›
There are many kinds of friendships, but the best is not often practiced by enough men. For a few weeks, we've set our sights on 5 Levels of Friendship and how to build them. Level 5 represents the life-giving commitment and men-transforming relational depth that we're designed to live.
Is Five friends enough? ›
Though research and experts suggest having three to six close friends is the sweet spot for life satisfaction, it truly depends on the individual. Ask yourself honestly whether you feel you have enough friends — that's your answer. Focus on making these relationships positive, quality friendships to reap the benefits.
What is the ideal number of friends? ›
While she and other friendship researchers admit there aren't many studies that have specifically tackled the question of how many friends people should aim for, those that have been done offer a range — and somewhere between three and six close friends may be the sweet spot.
What is the magic number of friends? ›
According to British anthropologist Robin Dunbar, the “magic number” is 150. Dunbar became convinced that there was a ratio between brain sizes and group sizes through his studies of non-human primates.
Although an individual's social network may include many more people, 150 contacts marks the cognitive limit on those with whom we can maintain a stable social relationship involving trust and obligation with – move beyond 150 and people are mere acquaintances.
What is the average friend number? ›
How many real friends a person has varies a lot, and it usually changes through the course of your life. According to a 2021 survey data, the average person in America has between 3 and 5 close friends. According to this survey: 49% report having 3 or fewer close friends.
What is the quote about 5 friends? ›
“You're the average of the five people spend the most time with,” a quote attributed most often to motivational speaker Jim Rohn. There's also the “show me your friends and I'll show you your future” derivative. Whichever you've heard, the intent is the same.
What is 5 in a group called? ›
From Wikipedia: “A quintet is a group containing five members.
What is the 5 best friends group name? ›
- Sure, here are some ideas for group names for a group of five friends:
- 1> The Fab Five.
- 2> The High Five Crew.
- 3> The Fantastic Five.
- 4> The Quintessentials.
- 5> The Power Pentad.
- 6> The Fierce Five.
- 7> The Dynamic Quintet.
Though research and experts suggest having three to six close friends is the sweet spot for life satisfaction, it truly depends on the individual. Ask yourself honestly whether you feel you have enough friends — that's your answer. Focus on making these relationships positive, quality friendships to reap the benefits.
Why should everyone have five close friends? ›
Each of the 150 people in our social network is “layered” based on the level of closeness we feel to that person. The closest emotional layer — the one we consider to hold the most meaning and connection — contains approximately five individuals, according to Dunbar.
Why having few friends is good? ›
The quality of your relationships is typically enhanced with fewer close friendships. With fewer distractions and more time to devote to each individual, conversations become more profound, meaningful, and lasting.
